A&B #97

📚 Alex & Books #97

July 10, 2022

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👋 Hey everyone,

Here are a few popular posts you may have missed:

📚 Book Summary:

This week's book is Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards.This book is for you if you want to learn how to read body language and be seen as more charismatic, confident, and competent. Here are a few lessons from the book:1) Why You Should Study Body LanguageA book about body language may seem like a waste of time until you realize just how valuable of a skill it is.Researchers found that nonverbal signals account for 65-90% of our total communication, yet most people have no idea how to read and use body language to communicate effectively.If you learn how to read body language, you'll be able to understand people's feelings better, see how interested they are in what you're saying, and know how much you can trust them.And when you learn how to send the right cues to others, you'll know how to speak more assertively, feel more confident, and seem more friendly to new people. 2) The Science of CharismaResearchers at Princeton University found that highly charismatic and likable people demonstrated a blend of two specific traits: warmth and competence. Here's why you need both traits:If you're just high in warmth, you'll likely be seen as friendly but not impressive or compassionate but not always competent (ex: Steve Wozniak).And if you're just high in competence, you'll be seen as smart but not approachable or important but not kind (ex: Mark Zuckerberg).However, if you're both warm and competent, you'll be seen as well respected, successful, and looked up to (ex: Oprah or Jeff Bezos).3) How To Be More LikedIf you want to be more warm and liked by others, here are a few cues you should practice: Nodding: Try a slow nod when you're listening to someone to show you're paying attention to them. Eyebrow raise: Raise your eyebrows when meeting someone to show you're excited to see them. Leaning: Lean towards the person (not on them) to show you're engaged in the conversation. Smiling: You're 9.7x more likely to be seen as warm when you're smiling. Touch: Subtly touch the person you're talking with to increase trust (meaning give a high five, handshake, shoulder or forearm touch, don't be creepy). Mirroring: Mirror their body language to show you're on the same wavelength as the person you're talking with.Include a few of these cues in your next conversation and you'll be seen as much more friendly, kind, and compassionate.

✅ Actionable Advice:

1) Body language is worth studying:

65-90% of our total communication is through nonverbal signals.
- If you learn how to read body cues, you'll be able to better understand people's feelings.
- If you learn how to send body cues, you'll be seen as more friendly and confident.

2) You want to be both warm AND competent:

If you're smart but seen as cold, work on your warm cues.
If you're friendly but not taken seriously, work on your competence cues.

3) How to be more liked:

Smile more
Lean into the conversation
Nod your head to show you're listening
Raise your eyebrows when meeting someone
Touch them on the shoulder or forearm to connect with them
Mirror their body language to show you're both on the same page

🎧 Podcast Update:

Here are 3 recent book rec videos:

📖 Reading Lesson:A simple tip that will 10x your ability to focus while reading a book.

⭐️ Weekly Quote:Read to fill the mind.Write to empty the mind.Exercise to calm the mind.Meditate to train the mind.Sleep to restore the mind.(share here)

Thank you for your support everyone, I'll see you next Sunday!Read on,Alex W.

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