A&B #32

Hey friends,

I hope you're having a wonderful Sunday.

I spent a lot of time this week creating content for

Tiktok

and it's paying off. Alex & Books passed 12k+ followers on the platform and my video about

Atomic Habits

got 110k+ views.

I also wrote two Twitter threads:

• 3 things I think Naval Ravikant got wrong about reading

• 10 reasons why Jocko Willink and Jordan Peterson read books.

Alright, let's dive into this week's newsletter.

📚 Book Lessons:

I recently finished How To Not Die Alone by Logan Ury. It's a wonderful book that will help you understand the state of dating in 2021, how to get more dates, and much more.Here are 3 lessons from it: 1) Great Relationships are BUILT, Not FoundHere's the truth: every relationship requires work and effort. That's why it's important to find a partner who has a "work-it out" mindset (the belief that relationship success derives from putting in effort) and NOT someone with a "soul mate" mindset (the belief that relationship satisfaction comes form finding the right person)."People with the work-it out mindset tend to fare much better in relationships because when they stumble, they put in the work needed to get the relationship back on track, rather than giving up," shares Logan. 2) Identify What's Holding You Back From Finding Love There are 3 common dating blind spots dating that hold people back from finding love.

• The Romanticizer has unrealistic expectations of relationships.

  • They want the soul mate, the happily ever after, the whole fairy tale.

• The Maximizer has unrealistic expectations of their partner.

  • They love to explore their options and want to feel absolutely confident they're making the right decision.

• The Hesitator has unrealistic expectations of themselves.

  • They feel like they're not ready to date.

(more info in the actionable advice section)3) Look For These Traits In A Long-term Partner

When it comes to vetting someone as a potential life partner, there are certain traits people tend to overvalue and other traits they undervalue. Superficial qualities like looks and money matter less for long-term relationship success because lust fades and people adapt to their lifestyle.

The traits that DO matter in a long-term partner include loyalty, kindness, emotional stability, and the ability to fight well together. In other words, someone trustworthy and reliable will make you much happier in the long run than someone who is just rich and attractive.

✅ Actionable Advice:

1) Remember that great relationships are BUILT, not found.

• Put in the daily work required to grow and sustain a great relationship.

• Surprise them with dinner every now and then, plan a weekend getaway, leave them a cute note in the morning, listen to them when they had a rough day, and so on.

2) Take Logan's free quiz to discover the secret blind spots holding you back in dating.

• By understanding your dating tendency, you will be able to overcome them and improve your dating life.

3) When vetting for a long-term partner, look for these traits:

• Loyalty

• Kindness

• Emotional stability

• A work-it out mindset

• Able to make hard decisions with you

🎧 Podcast Update:

My podcast with Logan Ury is now up. Logan covers:

• The 3 dating tendencies (or what’s holding you back in dating)

• Attachment styles and how it affects your dating life

• Myths around the spark and love at first sight

• Tips for staying in love

And so much more! I HIGHLY recommend this episode, listen to it here.

📖 Reading Lesson:The 7 paradoxes of reading: To read more books, quit more books To read more, read multiple books at a time Every time you reread a book, it's a new book The hardest part of reading is sitting down to start The better the book, the longer it takes you to read it Reading is the first, not the last step of self-improvement You probably won't remember most of what you've learned from the books that changed your lifeRead the full thread here.

⭐️ Weekly Quote:"If you want a new idea, read an old book."(source)

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Thank you for your support everyone!Read on,Alex W.