A&B #24

Hey friends,

I'm writing to all 4,684 of you today.Happy Sunday to everyone and happy Valentine's Day to all who celebrate. I spent the weekend with my girlfriend here in NYC (and yes, she reads books too).If you're single (or perhaps want to better understand the dating process), here are 7 must-read books about dating. And if you're just looking for your next great read in general, here are 4 awesome book recommendation sources.PS: I get a lot of emails from readers asking for past issues of the newsletter. If you're interested, you can visit the A&B newsletter archive here. 

Alright, let's dive into this week's newsletter!

📚 Book Lessons:

I just finished reading How To Talk To Anyone by Leil Lowndes.Here are 3 more lessons from the book:1) How To Make People Want To Compliment You If you want people to give you more compliments, you need to make them feel good when they give you one. For instance, if a friend compliments you on your sweater: Do say: "That's very kind of you" or "You just made my day, thank you" Don't say: "Oh, this old thing?" or "Oh it's nothing"Author Leil Lowndes calls this technique "Boomeranging." When someone sends you a good feeling your way, you want to send one back to them like a boomerang. Let them know of your gratitude and find a way to compliment them for their compliment.2) Make Them Feel Special By Remembering Tiny Details To create a sense of intimacy with someone, try to remember minute but important details of a person's life. It could be a hobby they love, their pet's name, or anything else. By tracking the tiny details of a person's life and referring to them in a future conversation, it will convey to the other person that you were really listening and paying attention to them.Here's an easy life hack: Keep a physical journal or a notes page on your phone where you write down what people said in their last conversation with you. Then, the next time you have a meeting or call with them, check your notes beforehand to refresh your memory about them. 3) Win Their Affection By Overlooking Their Bloopers None of us are perfect, we all make mistakes. But when we see someone make a blooper, there's a right and wrong way to react. For example, imagine you're in a restaurant enjoying lunch with your coworkers and one of them spills their drink on themselves. Don't call attention to it or make a joke about it. Instead, overlook it and ignore the minor slipups. When someone commits a blooper, they're already feeling a bit embarrassed and don't want more attention drawn to them. By remaining cool and not making a big deal out of it, they'll save face and appreciate you not making a joke out of the situation. 

✅ Actionable Advice:

1) Get people to compliment you more by using the boomeranging technique.

• The next time someone gives you a compliment, thank them for it. Tell them: "That's very kind of you" or "You made my day, thank you."

• When you thank someone for giving you a compliment, they'll feel good about their action and want to do it more often.

2) Bring up tiny details about the person to create a deep sense of intimacy.

• The next time you're talking to a colleague or friend, bring up a tiny detail they mentioned in your last conversation with them. It will make them special and they'll feel like you really know them.

• Keep a journal or notes folder on your phone where you write down important life details from everyone you talk to. Then before your next interaction with them, pull it up to refresh your memory.

3) Win your friends' and colleagues' affection by overlooking their bloopers.

• Next time someone spills something or commits a minor blooper, don't say "oh dear" or make a big deal out of the situation.

• Instead, remain cool and give them plausible deniable that no one noticed their mishap.

🎧 Podcast Update:

No new podcast this week, but I am working on uploading clips of my favorite lessons from past episodes.Here's a clip from my conversation with Scott Young where he shares advice on how to remember more of what you've read.I also wrote a Twitter thread with a summary of the lessons here.

📖 Reading Lesson:Instead of a reading lesson this week, here are my top 10 self-help books:1) Mindset 2) Deep Work3) Indistractable4) Atomic Habits5) The One Thing 6) The Daily Stoic7) 12 Rules for Life8) The Compound Effect 9) Discipline Equals Freedom10) How To Win Friends & Influence People

⭐️ Weekly Quote:Reading expands your thinking.Writing clarifies your thinking.Teaching identifies gaps in your thinking.(share here)

📸 Photo of the Week:

For the past few months, I've been using Tiktok as a creative outlet.

Most of the videos consist of book recommendations, but are few are on the light and funnier side.

We're currently up to 5k+ followers and 28k+ likes.

Here are my

(the last one is my favorite).

Thank you for reading this week's newsletter everyone, I'll see you next Sunday!Read on,Alex W.PS: If you enjoyed this newsletter, please share it with a friend. They can subscribe here.