A&B #23

Hey friends,

I'm writing to all 4,639 of you today.Hope you're having a lovely Sunday. This week I read an article in the WSJ about the therapeutic value of reading. I enjoyed it so much I wrote a thread summarizing the key points along with 12 tips to being a better reader. You can find the summary and original article here.I also wrote another thread recently but on a much darker topic.Throughout my early 20s, I struggled with depression. Over the years, I experimented with certain habits to see what helped me cope and what didn't. Here's a thread with 10 simple habits that have helped me achieve a better state of mind. 

Alright, let's dive into this week's newsletter!

📚 Book Lessons:

I'm currently reading How To Talk To Anyone by Leil Lowndes. It's a wonderful book that will help you become a better communicator in life, love, and the business world. Think of it as a modern-day How To Win Friends & Influence People.The book is filled with 92 helpful lessons, but for now, here are 3 lessons from it:1) How To Make Your Thank Yous MagicalThis is a simple yet effective tip to become a more likable person: Never let the phrase thank you stand naked and alone. Always make it thank you for something. Whenever the occasion warrants more than an unconscious acknowledgment, dress up your "thank you" with the reason: Thank you for being so understanding. Thank you for your help with the project. Thank you for being such a great customer.Next time someone does something nice for you, remember to NOT give a naked thank you but instead, dress it up with a description of what they did. Thank you for reading this book lesson.2) How To Make Them Feel That You're Like "Family"When you meet someone from your industry or a person who loves the same hobby as yourself, you'll notice you both use certain words to describe that specific domain. For instance, if you're talking to a pharmacist, they'd prefer to call their business a pharmacy instead of a drugstore because the word drugs has a negative association with it. To make someone feel like you're "family" or part of their group, try echoing. Echoing is when you listen to the speaker's choice of lingo (nouns, verbs, adjectives) and echo them back. Here are a few examples: People in advertising work for an agency, lawyers work for a firm, and book editors work for a publishing house. People with ski homes prefer to call them chalets instead of cabins. Musicians get gigs while models get bookings.Listen to the person when they're speaking and take note of the words they use to describe their field or interests. Then, use those same words while talking to them. 3) How To Empathize Like A Pro When you're having a conversation and want to agree with them, DON'T say: yep, uh-huh, or yeah. Replace your umms and filler words with empathizers–simple, short, supportive statements. Instead of "yep", say "I see what you mean." Instead of "uh-huh", say "Yes that was the right thing to do." Instead of "yeah", say "I totally agree with you."By vocalizing complete sentences, you'll show you understand what the person is saying and that you're listening attentively to them. Your empathy also encourages them to continue talking and will walk away from the conversation feeling great.

✅ Actionable Advice:

1) Never give a naked "thank you."

• When someone does something nice for you today, DON'T give a naked "thank you." Instead, be specific with your compliment.

2) To make them feel like you're family, echo their lingo back to them.

• The next time you're talking to a new colleague or person at a networking event, listen to their lingo and take note of the words they use to describe their field or interests. Use those same words while talking to them.

3) Empathize like a pro by giving simple and supportive statements.

• Remove "yep, uh-huh, yeah" from your vocabulary.

• Anytime you catch yourself saying of them, replace it with a simple, short, and supportive statement.

🎧 Podcast Update:

No new podcast this week.However, with Valentine's Day approaching, if you're having trouble in your dating or relationship life, I'd recommend listening to Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy. As a former nice guy, his book changed my life and has massively improved my own dating life.Watch the podcast here.

📖 Reading Lesson:Reading is an art but it's also a science.Here's the equation to reading more:

• Reading = A x R x T

A = Ability to focusR = Reading speedT = Time spent readingIf you want to read more, learn how here.

⭐️ Weekly Quote:"Reading a book isn’t a race - the better the book, the slower it should be absorbed."-Naval Ravikant

📸 Photo of the Week:

How does James Clear, author of the bestselling book

Atomic Habits,

read 30+ books a year?

Simple: He sets a goal of reading 20 pages every morning.

"20 pages is small enough that it's not intimidating. Most people can finish reading 20 pages within 30 minutes. And if you do it first thing in the morning, then the urgencies of the day don't get in the way." – James Clear

Read the

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Thank you for reading this week's newsletter everyone, I'll see you next Sunday!Read on,Alex W.PS: If you enjoyed this newsletter, please share it with a friend. They can subscribe here.