đź“š A&B #158

"Master of Change", Free ebooks, and more.

September 10, 2023

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đź‘‹ Hey everyone,

Here are a few popular posts you may have missed:

đź“š Book Summary:

This week's book is “Master of Change” by Brad Stulberg.

The only constant in life is change so if we want to thrive, it’s important to learn how to embrace it. This book serves as a guide to help readers navigate life’s unexpected twists and turns.

Here are 3 lessons from the book:

đź“–

1) Stop Resisting Change & Adapt To It Instead

Denying change may feel better in the short-term but it’s futile in the long-run.

Change is the only constant in life, so if you fear change, you fear life–and chronic fear can become toxic.

Science shows that when you chronically fight change, your body releases the stress hormone cortisol, which is associated with metabolic syndrome, insomnia, inflammation, muscle wasting, and countless other illnesses.

It’s futile and unhealthy to try to resist change.

And if things never changed, life would become tedious and boring. If we are to live meaningful lives, change is simply part of the deal.

There’s a famous saying in Buddhism that life is full of ten thousand joys and ten thousand sorrows. You don’t get to experience the former without the latter.

đź“–

2) When Sh*T Hits The Fan, Follow The 4 P’s

When things change and there’s chaos, most people’s first instinct is to panic and react immediately.

But you don’t want to react to the situation, instead, you want to respond to it.

A simple heuristic to remember is the 4 P’s: Pause, Process, Plan, Proceed.

Start by pausing and giving your emotions room to breathe as well as labeling them. Researchers found that people who felt and labeled their emotions had significantly less activity in the amygdala (the part of the brain associated with reacting) and were more at ease.

After you’ve named the emotion, the next step is to process it and make a plan. To do this you want to imagine that a friend was in your exact situation. Visualize what they are going through and ask yourself what advice you’d give them.

Psychologists call this strategy self-distancing and its purpose is to create space so that you can see clearly what is happening (process) and also come up with actions to do next (plan).

Once you’ve come up with a plan, the last thing to do is to proceed with it. Take small steps to build momentum and adjust your plan as you go.

If you get into the habit of responding instead of reacting, you develop what psychologists call self-efficacy (the belief that you are capable of taking action during change and difficult situations). And the more self-efficacy you develop, the less threatening change and disorder become.

đź“–

3) Ask For Help (Seriously)

Life can get hard, but there’s no need to go at it alone.

Studies show that asking for and receiving help is one of the most predictive characteristics of resilience.

Brad tells us to look at massive redwood trees as an analogy.

Redwood trees can grow to be hundreds of feet tall and more than 10 feet in diameter. But their roots only run about 6-12 feet deep.

Instead of growing downward, their roots grow outward, extending hundreds of feet laterally, wrapping themselves around the roots of their neighbors.

That way when rough weather comes, the intertwined roots support one another and allow them to stand strong.

We are the same.

Having a group of friends and family that we can turn to for help makes it easier to push through tough times. But if we’re alone or never ask for help, things are much harder.

So if you’re going through a rough patch, reach out to a friend, your parents, or your mentor and ask for advice.

âś… Actionable Advice:

1) Here’s a helpful prayer to remember:

  • “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

2) Respond instead of reacting to chaotic situations by following the 4 P’s:

  • Take a moment to pause and give your emotions space.

  • Label and process your emotions.

  • Figure out a plan about the best way to move forward.

  • Proceed with your plan and adjust as things change.

3) If you’re in a rough patch, reach out for help:

  • Text a friend.

  • Call a family member.

  • Email a mentor.

đź“– Reading Lesson:

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Thank you for your support, I'll see you next Sunday!

Read on,

Alex W.

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