A&B #115

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👋 Hey everyone,

Here are a few popular posts you may have missed:

• 20 Short books you can read in one day.

• 12 Powerful lessons from "The Happiest Man on Earth."

• Here's a video of me explaining my personal note-taking strategy.

PS: I'm doing a 15 book giveaway,

learn how to enter here!

📚 Book Summary:

This week's book is The Fine Art of Small Talk by Debra Fine. I've been enjoying this book so I'm a few more lessons from it, you can read part 1 here. Here are 3 new lessons from it:1) How To Become An Amazing ListenerTo become an amazing listener you need to listen visually, verbally, and mentally. Here's how:Visually: Maintain eye contact, lean forward, open your arms and body, face the speaker, nod and smile as they talk. Avoid covering your mouth, fiddling with jewelry or accessories, tapping or pacing, or glancing away from the speaker.Verbally:  Say things like: "That's amazing, tell me more" or "How interesting, what happened afterward?"  Avoid staying silent for long periods of time because they might view it as you being bored, confused, or uninterested.Mentally: Pay attention to the details of the conversation (people's names, important events, and other key information). Avoid yawning, faking interest, or being rude (see lesson #3 for how to exit a boring conversation).Build these 3 traits and you'll become an awesome listener and someone people love to talk to. 2) Match Their Level of Intimacy Building a new friendship requires openness and trust, but you want to avoid moving too quickly into the deep end.If a stranger came up to you and started sharing their life story and deepest secrets, you'd feel uncomfortable and likely find an excuse to exit the conversation. That's why you want to proceed in layers and match their level of intimacy. Sharing personal details about your life helps build trust with someone new, but you should only disclose information about yourself that is comfortable and uncontroversial. As a general rule, here are a few topics to avoid: Gossiping about friends or colleagues Sharing major personal misfortunes (divorce, accidents, etc.) Controversial subjects such as religion or politics Talking about your personal health or asking about theirsIf you're unsure about a topic, follow the old axiom: When in doubt, leave it out. 3) How To Gracefully Exit A ConversationIf you ever find yourself stuck in a boring or extended conversation, here are a few exit lines that will help you escape: "Excuse me but I have to go find my coworker/friend" "I promised myself that I'd meet three new people today, but it was great talking with you" "Have you met any interesting people here today? Would you mind introducing me to them?" "Let's go meet the speaker" "I see my friend Jennifer is here, I should go say hi" "It was great talking with you but I don't want to take up too much of your time"Always try to end the conversation the same way you started it, on a positive note and with a smile and a handshake. If you do this, you'll make a lasting impression and have made a new connection.

✅ Actionable Advice:1) When you're in a conversation, remember to listen:

• Visually: Face them and keep your body open.

• Verbally: Ask questions to show you're listening.

• Mentally: Pay attention to important details mentioned in conversation.

2) Avoid:

• Gossipping

• Sharing too many personal details

• Talking about controversial subjects

• Talking about your personal health or theirs

3) Do your best to exit a conversation gracefully:

• Remember to end the conversation on a positive note with a smile and a handshake.

🎧 Podcast/YouTube Update:

If you haven't seen my podcast with Tiago Forte about his book "Building A Second Brain" you can watch it here.

📖 Reading Lesson:15 FREE tools every reader should know about.

⭐️ Weekly Quote:"Little phrases such as “I’m sorry to trouble you,” “Would you be so kind as to ———?” “Won’t you please?” “Would you mind?” “Thank you”—little courtesies like these oil the cogs of the monotonous grind of everyday life—and, incidentally, they are the hallmark of good breeding."From "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.

Thank you for your support everyone, I'll see you next Sunday!Read on,Alex W.