A&B #110

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👋 Hey everyone,

Here are a few popular posts you may have missed:

• 20 Books Balaji Srinivasan recommends reading.

• 12 Free newsletters that will save you time, make you money, or both.

• 10 Free websites for readers that are so valuable they feel illegal to know.

PS: I'm doing a new book giveaway, learn how to enter here!

📚 Book Summary:

This week's book is Mindreader by Dr. David Lieberman.This book is all about understanding human nature so that you can quickly identify if someone can be trusted and what their true intentions are. If you enjoyed The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene, you'll like this book.Here are 3 lessons from it:1) How To Check If Someone Is Lying To YouIf you've ever wondered if someone was lying to you, here are a few tips that can help:

As a general guideline, a truthful response is short and direct ("No, I didn't do that."). Since they're being truthful, they give a strong and clear denial.However, someone who is lying will try to distance themselves from the guilt or deflect ("How could you even ask me such a thing?" or "How could you question my honesty?").Another clue to look for is when people stall–this means they're trying to buy themselves time to consider their options, prepare their answer, or think of a way to deflect the question.The last thing to look for is if they're relieved when the subject is changed. The guilty person wants to change the subject or end the conversation, but the innocent person wants to continue the conversation to prove their innocence.  2) How To Check If You're Lying To YOURSELF We like to believe that we're always telling the truth to ourselves and others, but as humans, we lie to ourselves so that we can live with others.None of us wants to admit that we are selfish, lazy, or flawed, and our ego often prevents us from seeing that through a variety of defense mechanisms. The 3 most common ones are avoidance, denial, and justification.For instance, a smoker knows cigarettes cause cancer and countless other health illnesses, but they find ways to lie to themselves so that they can keep smoking. They may try to block out thinking about the negative health effects of smoking (avoidance), they might dispute the evidence around the scientific studies (denial), or they might say smoking makes them more social or prevents them from overeating (justification).So the next time you find yourself doing a harmful or negative action, take a minute to reflect and to ask yourself if you're avoiding, denying, or justifying your negative action.  3) How To Quickly Get People To Trust You Trust is one of the most powerful human emotions–it's needed to build relationships with friends, romantic partners, and business partners.And here's a strategy you can use to gain it quickly: Share private aspects of your life first. Sharing creates unearned trust. If a stranger shares a secret or discloses something about their private life you start to feel that "If they trust me, then I should be able to trust them." Chances are you'll be moved to reciprocate and share secrets back because it's only fair. Just like how when someone gives you a gift or their time, you'll often feel indebted and want to return the favor–the same is true about trust.When a person shares himself with us, we may feel uneasy unless we reciprocate and share a piece of ourselves. However, avoid dumping a huge secret or your entire personal life on a person you've just met as that will turn them off and they'll likely want to leave the conversation as soon as possible.

✅ Actionable Advice: 1) Look for these cues when trying to figure out if someone is lying to you:

• They deflect the question or give a long answer instead of a short and direct one.

• They stall before answering so that they have time to consider their options or to carefully craft a lie.

• They are relieved when the subject is changed.

2) Stop lying to yourself:

• If you find yourself doing a harmful activity ask yourself if you're:

  • Avoiding the truth about the negative consequences.

  • Denying evidence or facts about the action you're taking.

  • Justifying your negative actions.

3) To gain a person's trust quickly do this:

• Share a secret or disclose something about your personal life.

  • It will make them feel like you trust them and they'll want to return the favor and share something personal about themselves.

🎧 Podcast/YouTube Update:

Here are 3 new videos you may have missed: People when they start a new self-help book. When a book is still boring after 3 chapters. 5 Tips to become a better reader.

📖 Reading Lesson:The best time to read is at the bookend of each day:Early in the morning before workOR Late in the evening before bed.

⭐️ Weekly Quote:Buy books that will be useful to you tomorrow.Read books that are useful to you today.Recommend books that were useful to you yesterday.(share here)

Thank you for your support everyone, I'll see you next Sunday!Read on,Alex W.