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- š I Spent 3 Days With 50 Bestselling Authors, Netflix Documentary, and more.
š I Spent 3 Days With 50 Bestselling Authors, Netflix Documentary, and more.
A&B #256
š Hey everyone,
Here are a few popular posts you may have missed:
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š Life Lessons:
Last week, I spent 3 days with 50 amazing authors (many of whom have sold 1M+ books).
Authors such as:
James Clear (āAtomic Habitsā)
Hal Elrod ("The Miracle Morning")
Rory Vaden ("Wealthy & Well-Known")
Gretchen Rubin (āThe Happiness Projectā)
Joseph Nguyen (āDonāt Believe Everything You Thinkā)
Tiffany "The Budgetnista" Aliche ("Get Good With Money")
and dozens more incredible authors!
How did I get invited to join this group?
Well, that's a story for another day...
But instead of sharing the regular book summary this week, I wanted to share 3 networking and relationship tips Iāve learned from this experience.
š
1) The Cure For Imposter Syndrome is Iām Interested Syndrome
If you ever find yourself in a room where you feel like an imposter, hereās a helpful tip to remember:
You canāt be an impostor and be interested at the same time.
If youāre talking about something you havenāt done, then youāre an impostor.
But if youāre asking someone questions about something theyāve done, youāre interested.
Everyoneās favorite subject is themselves, so if you ask people genuine and insightful questions, theyāll likely be happy to answer them.
For instance, this event was packed with incredible authors who sold millions of books. If I tried to fit in, I wouldāve been an impostor.
Instead, I tried to be a student and ask them interesting questions, such as:
Which marketing tactics worked best for your book?
How do you land speaking gigs and how do you raise your rates?
Why did you go with a hybrid publisher over a traditional publisher?
So, although this group was filled with several bestselling authors, I was able to manage my impostor syndrome and make the most out of my time with them by focusing on being interested, instead of interesting.
š
2) Spend 30 Minutes Doing Your Research
At any event or conference, there will usually be a list of speakers attending, and sometimes a list or group chat of guests who will be attending.
To minimize the chances of an awkward encounter and maximize your time at the event, spend some time researching each speaker.
For instance, I created a document with the names of all the authors attending and then added a brief 1-3 sentence bio about each of them (you can keep this doc in your Notes tab on your phone so you can quickly pull it up if you need it during the event).
I then selected a few authors I specifically wanted to chat with, and came up with a couple of questions for each of them. That way, if I found myself sitting next to a specific author, I would be able to ask them an insightful question instead of trying to come up with a good question on the spot.
It also helps to have 2-3 emergency questions written down, so if you ever find yourself in an awkward silence or your brain just shuts off, you can ask these questions to keep the conversation going.
Here were my emergency questions for this event:
Is this your first time at this event?
Are you currently working on a new book?
This event is amazingāhave there been any key insights for you or interesting people youāve met so far?
Granted, these questions arenāt deep or genius, but they are ice-breakers that will break the silence and give you the opportunity to dive into a richer and deeper conversation.
š
3) Turn Off Introvert Mode
Being at an event with a ton of new people is both exciting and overwhelming.
Itās exciting because you have a chance to connect with people who can turn into new friendships or business relationships.
But it can also be overwhelming and draining to talk to a new person every few minutesāespecially if youāre an introvert.
But if you find yourself in a room with people you will probably never come across again (like a James Clear or Tiffany "The Budgetnista" Aliche), you need to turn off introvert mode.
For that one event, you need to think of yourself as an extrovert.
If you have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to talk to one of your heroes, donāt let social anxiety stand in your way.
As one author told me, āIām going to talk to as many people as possible but then go back into my cave to recover for the next few weeks to recover.ā
As a fellow serious introvert (I work remotely and spend basically all day by myself), here are a few tips if you find your social battery being drained at an event:
Step outside for a few minutes to catch your breath
Find a room no one is using to just sit down and relax
Take extra trips to the bathroom to have a few moments of peace and quiet to yourself
Grab some extra food and sit at an empty table to fuel up both physically and mentally
Lastly, be proud of yourself for leaving your comfort zone and trying something new.
Chances are being a temporary extrovert will pay off.
For instance, by the end of the event, I had several authors who offered for me to come on their podcast when my book is released, a few who asked to join my author dinners, and one author who even said heād personally mentor me.
None of this would have been possible had I not gotten out of my comfort zone and spent time and energy connecting with people.
So at your next event, be an extrovert for one day. You can go back to being an introvert for the next six days after that.
ā Actionable Advice
1) The cure for Impostor syndrome is Iām interested syndrome:
Instead of trying to be interesting, focus on being interested in others.
2) Spend 30 minutes researching the speakers and guests who will be at the event:
Come up with 2-3 emergency questions to ask people as ice-breakers.
3) When you go to an event, turn off introvert mode and try to talk to as many people as possible:
Getting out of your comfort zone and being a temporary extrovert will almost certainly pay off.
š Weekly Gem:
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Thank you for your support,
Alex W.
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